I was getting ready for school that morning... My mother was forcing me to eat breakfast in the kitchen while my sisters and my father watched the two smoking buildings on the television in the bar/piano room. I could hear them talking, hushed hurried whispers of horror. Then the three of them gasped together and there was silence. Once again, I made a rush to get out of the kitchen, failing as my mother grabbed my arm and forced me back down. She glanced over into the room and asked casually, "What happened?"
"A tower collapsed..."
The rest of the words were lost to me as I quietly sat alone at the kitchen table mulling over what I had just heard. I couldn't understand why someone would do something like that. I thought everybody loved our country. Then again, I hadn't seen much hate growing up.
My mother dropped me off at school, and as walked to my first class I thought of the image I caught from a glance of the TV. Fear and wonder crowded my thoughts; then paranoia. The rest of the day was spent glancing up at the sky, wondering if maybe my school was the next target. We had been informed by some of our teachers that the second tower had fallen, and some teachers even let us watch the newscast during short periods of class time. My H. English teacher gave us a little lecture while we watched a replay of the towers falling. "These people you see here are stupid people. These are the people who threw away their lives and hurt millions of people instead of doing something good or important. You guys should take this example of such weak minded people and condition your minds to become educated scholars. What you see here are people from a nation with no proper education. Think of how lucky you guys are to live in a country where education is free and mandatory. I know you all think you hate school, but without some sort of proper education, events like these would be happening all over the world. And yes, even in our country."
She did say a few more things, not so nicely, but we got the point. Anyway, when the principal came over the loudspeaker and asked for a moment of silence, I sat quietly and thought about the images I’d seen on the screen. As I thought, my eyes wandered over my classmates... Some were just glancing around, others whispering into their neighbor's ear, and some just sat there looking bored. It shocked me that they weren't taking in what was going on seriously. For all I knew, millions of people could've died that day and those that did were mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, grandparents, cousins, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews.... And they sat there! Without a care in the world!
When I entered my high school, teenage years and a 'moment of silence' was issued, I figured things would be a bit better. But I was wrong. On top of everything else, some of the students just sat and texted on their phone while the ‘Moment of Silence’ was put into effect. Others would just put their head down and close their eyes to try and nap though the teacher's lecture. And when someone poked me and asked me why I looked so serious, I just couldn't place it all together. I still can't. I don't understand it. Why is there no passion or sympathy for the innocent that have been killed?
If you read my previous post about my curse of a kind heart, I guess that would explain my emotions when I reflect back on that day. Alan Jackson's song "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)" and Darryl Worley's "Have You Forgotten?" still mist my eyes when I hear them. Along with Toby Keith's "Courtesy of the Red, White, & Blue (The Angry American)" and Yellowcard's "Believe" were common songs that would get my thoughts back to September of 2001. Then the 9/11 remix of DJ Sammy's "Heaven" was a popular hit. It could tug at the heartstrings of every mother, and father. I've got a friend that still gets angry at me whenever I turn it on on my iPod. She pulls the ear bud out, or turns off the radio and says, "Stop it! You know I hate that song!" And when I ask why, she simply says, "Because! The little girl's voice and what she says... IT'S SO FRIGGIN' DEPRESSING." I found that hard to believe, because she's not one who usually cries. Haha...
I fell asleep last night on the couch with one last piece of knowledge. It's September 11th again... Eight years have passed. Do all the families still light a candle for their loved one? Do people still pass over the event that affected the world? My answer is yes. Looking at the Facebook statuses all around, some still remember and pledge allegiance to always remembering. And some just want to promote themselves, and make their world push out events that happened in the past that don't include them.
Is it selfish of me to think bad thoughts of them? Or is it selfless of me to think so much about those that lost their lives and the respect they get denied? When you walk through a graveyard, is it ever proper to step on a headstone?
If I had a flagpole, I would put up a special flag today. A ‘September 11th’ flag at half-mast. A friend asked me earlier, “Why?” I told him, “Why not? In memory of all the law enforcement that faithfully gave their lives to their duties in trying to save as many people from the burning building. For the innocent lives that were lost. And lastly, in remembrance of our troops overseas and how everyone seems to easily forget about them and what they do for our country. Plus, how our country came together to help each other. I don't think we'd ever been more United then before.” All he responded back with was ‘oh’ before changing the subject.
America, the Land of Ignorance. How I commonly refer to our country. We all take our freedom for granted and do stupid things with it. I’m not saying I haven’t done it before, but I just wish we were taught differently. But then again, I suppose it also has to do with maturity.
*Sigh* The thought of the attacks is making me all depressed again. I’m going to go turn on my ‘Patriotic’ play list on my iPod, do some small errands, and maybe drive over to visit my little brother. Not a real one, of course, but I “adopted” him as one when he claimed he always wanted an older sister. I actually haven’t seen him since the summer of 2006. Both of us were part of the same tour group vacationing in Hawai’i so the last I saw of him was just outside the doors of LAX.
It’s September 11th, everyone. Go home and give your family, and the ones you love, a hug. Be thankful for what you have and be glad that faith, hope, and love exist in this world, in our world, and in your world.
May God bless you, your family, and the ones you love.
And once more, may God watch over our troops overseas and their family and loved ones. May as many of them, if not all of them, return home safely.
And Danny, we’re praying for your safe return. Less than a month away, we’re all excited too!
So what are you still doing sitting at your computer? Get off and go spend some time with your family. I am.
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